Red Devil

The red devil is kind of a badass. We have a love/hate relationship.

First chemo treatment.

Snazzy.

A couple of days before I was scheduled to go in for my first treatment, I had a port placed in my chest. It's under the skin and has a little tube that feeds into one of the veins that leads into my heart. It freaks me out a little, but I'm also grateful for it. We've nicknamed him Porter Rockwell. The port is supposed to make the chemo easier to administer, as well as to save the veins in my arms. Want to know why?

Because chemo drugs are highly toxic. Oh, and one of the side effects? Cancer. Not a joke. Chemo drugs can cause cancer. Kind of funny, in a dark and emo sort of way.

It's not a phase, Mom. This is who I am.

So this is how it goes. The kind of chemo I'm going through is called ABVD, which is short for (A)driamycin, (B)leomycin, (V)inblastine, and (D)acarbazine. The first three are administered through big honkin' syringes that are gradually pushed in over 15 minutes for each one. The last is given through a IV bag and takes about another 45 minutes. Before they administer the chemo drugs, they give me an IV bag with fluids to hydrate me up and with anti-nausea stuff and steroids to keep me eating and standing upright and all that jazz.

The first one they administer is the worst/best. They call it the Red Devil. It's the Adriamycin. And it looks like this:

Kinda pretty, right? Ha!

That bright red color in the picture isn't an exaggeration. That's what it looks like. And since it attacks fast-dividing cells like cancer, it also attacks fast-dividing cells like the ones in your mouth, throat and stomach lining. While they're administering this one, the nurse has you chew on ice, so that the blood flow to the mouth is reduced. The idea here is that you don't get quite as blasted.

I did chew ice. I brushed my teeth with a soft-bristled brush. I rinsed out with water and baking soda. I used non-alcohol based mouthwash. And yet...

MY MOUTH WAS ON FIRE.

My mouth on the Red Devil: a Retrospective

It was bad, y'all. Like all the promises of hellfire and eternal damnation IN MY MOUTH. Every time I went to eat or drink or talk or even yawn, my mouth reacted with the heat of a thousand suns.

They warned me this might happen and asked me if I wanted what they called "magic mouthwash." I declined, as in the past, my experiences with having a numb mouth were not ones I wanted to repeat.

It took me two days. Two days of excruciating pain before I broke down and got the mouthwash. Yes, I hated the sensation of my mouth being numb. Yes, the taste was horrible (that fake grape flavor you find in cough syrups but worse). Yes, my masculine pride was shattered (not a bad thing, actually).

But my mouth was no longer ablaze. Bliss. Pure bliss. Until I tried to eat a cracker. Another story for another time, perhaps.

Here was the progression of my side effects after the first treatment. A couple of hours after I left the clinic, it hit me like a ton of bricks. We had decided to go to a movie right after (Shazam!, which I highly recommend, by the way), and it hit me around 2/3 of the way in.

Pain in my upper torso, stiffness and pain in my neck, profuse sweating, the sensation of wanting to crawl out of my own skin. After the movie, we went home and got me some meds and sent me to bed. I suffered off and on during the night.

Then, the next morning, I woke up feeling great! My mouth was starting to hurt, but at this point it wasn't too terribly bad. No nausea. Overall, I felt better than I had in quite a while.

Me, doing a happy dance. Okay, not me. He has hair. And a nice, shiny suit.

That sense of wellbeing didn't last forever, unfortunately. Over the course of the next five days or so, I experienced the following: fatigue (that kept getting worse and worse), my heartbeat racing--even while sitting or lying down, random cramps--like charley horses--wherever I have muscles, heat-prickles, and... did I mention?... MOUTH FIRE.

But no real nausea, for which I am super grateful. I'm still eating like a champ. I've actually put on weight since I started chemo. That may not last, but I'm taking it while I've got it.

Overall, I'd say I'm lower down on the scale of side effects. My understanding is that the treatments have a cumulative weight to them, so I'm not counting my chickens before they've started chowing down on grain. Or whatever.

Oh, and I have some ideas about how to deal with the Red Devil for my next treatment.

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In the next installment, we'll be discussing bowel movements. I know you can't wait!

Super gross! And informative!

Next post.