Meet Kimo

Look at that face, y'all. THAT. FACE.

We did something foolish and beautiful last Thursday. We got a puppy.

Look, I know better than most how stupid that decision was. You don't do things like get a puppy when you're going through cancer. Especially when you're at a point at which you have no idea what's coming next. Like right now.

BUT LOOK AT THAT PUPPY.

Yes, that's her sleeping on my lap.

Her name is Kimo (yes, it's pronounced "chemo"... also, it's a masculine Hawaiian name meaning "supplanter," so there's that, too). She's loving, playful and all kinds of trouble. She's already made enemies with our cat, because she just wants to love Sasha SO MUCH.

I adore boxers. Always have. Their personalities are so fun and buoyant. They're energetic and playful, but they also like to snuggle.

Look at that! They're touching! And no growling!

And when they run, they're GORGEOUS.

Well, not when they're puppies. When they're puppies, any kind of movement or barking's just adorable.

I just can't with this. The cuteness factor is well beyond the limits of human tolerance.

Oh, want to see her going up the stairs? She still hasn't figured out how to go down yet.

Oh, my heart.

Also, she jumps and leaps around like that one video of the baby goat that you've probably seen.

This is basically Kimo, except with more passive victims.

I'll have to try to get some video documentation of that one. It's pretty stinkin' cute.

It's not like this has been a perfect and seamless transition. Our older dog's a grumpy ol' man, and he's not at all sure about this young whippersnapper who keeps trying to play with him. We're working on toilet- and kennel-training Kimo right now, and that can be such a patience-trying experience. She likes to bite feet, so we've taken to saying "No, Kimo! No biting people!" She then barks and flaps her ears at us, and we desperately try to keep a straight face while still sounding stern.

So, here's a confession. That picture above? The one with me, Linus and Kimo? I was full-on weeping just moments before.

Not with sadness. With joy.

I was SO. FREAKING. HAPPY.

One of the things that's been hard for me over the course of treating my cancer has been how much I depend on others. I don't have the amount of energy I had before starting chemotherapy. There are days when I struggle to get out of bed. My endurance is infinitesimally short. After a day of teaching, sometimes all I can manage after getting home is staring at the wall until it's time to go to sleep that night.

Like this, but less existential. And with more hair.

I love teaching. It gives my life more meaning. That isn't an exaggeration, either. No hyperbole this time, although you probably realize at this point that I am prone to it. Teaching fills me up.

Also, when I teach, I expend an enormous amount of energy. I'm working on that part. Honestly, I think it'll make me a better teacher. As much as I say things to my acting students about them "being enough," I don't always believe it about myself when it comes to the classroom (okay, not just the classroom, but that's where I notice it the most). I feel like I have to perform for my students... entertain them.

That might have been a really long tangent. I'm not sure.

Not that kind of tangent. Trig. Woof.

Anyhoo.

Bringing Kimo into our home has allowed me to care for another life. Does she wake me up at all hours of the night? Sure. Do I have to go out in my underwear in the middle of the night to make sure she doesn't pee or poop on the carpet? Yes.

But I love her. And she loves me. Want proof?

This'll break your heart, y'all.

My son took this video right after I left.

Fine. Whatevs. It's not real proof. That's how I'm taking it, regardless.

Here's the deal. Sometimes, when things get really bad, you just have to shake things up. Even if what you decide to do to shake those things up is REALLY, REALLY STUPID.

I never claimed to be smart*.
---------------

Next up. A panel on whether or not the Redwood supplement is used for better circulation or better erections. And how it was that I discovered that second little** detail.

The mighty, mighty redwoods. Or is that bosstones?

*Actually, that's a lie. I have claimed to be smart many, many times.
**Yes, I said "little." Get your snickering over and done with.


Next post.